Obiturary

Yesterday, October 18th it was announced that the heroic forces of cancer and covid-19 completed their pincer maneuver and finally brought a small measure of justice to the world by squeezing the last breaths out of Colin Powell's lungs as though they were the green new deal in the hands of the Democratic party. A precious ventilator and overtaxed and underpaid health care workers were freed up to make more profits for the industry by being assigned to actual human beings.

On June 29th, 2021 there was a loud splash in a sewage retention pond in hell as former Secretary of Defense and serial war criminal Donald Rumsfeld escaped justice for his countless crimes against humanity by transferring his employment to Hades. There he will join the founder of IKEA as a celebrity judge of the elevator music competition on the popular show Hell's Got Talent.

On June 29th, 2021 there was a loud splash in a sewage retention pond in hell as former Secretary of Defense and serial war criminal Donald Rumsfeld escaped justice for his countless crimes against humanity by transferring his employment to Hades. There he will join the founder of IKEA as a celebrity judge of the elevator music competition on the popular show Hell's Got Talent.

Rush Hudson Limbaugh III (January 12th, 1951 – February 17th, 2021) Finally a 2021 celebrity death we can all get behind. Fire up your horns, noise makers, and bitterly ironic disco tunes so we can mock the death of Rush Limbaugh the way he mocked individuals dying of AIDS in 1990. Limbaugh’s path of American destruction began in the typical fashion of being born a white male spawn of a wealthy and influential family from Missouri.